I was driving down
the highway yesterday. I made it past a bunch of trees. The sky to my
right was dark and cloudy, but the tree tops were illuminated by the
setting sun. To my right, the sun was setting, the clouds broken up
towards the mountain, so that the light could escape and beautify the
world for one more moment before being gone for the night. It was
breathtaking. I have seen this before, and it is absolutely the most
beautiful thing to me. I cried. Because I miss seeing beauty like this.
I miss that feeling of being completely in awe of God. Knowing that He
made that. Maybe even made it just for me. It made me feel small...made
all my problems seem smaller and made me less anxious about Joel coming
home. Like in that moment, I knew that he would get here...I didn't
have to worry, he would be home. I stepped back (well in my mind, I was
technically still driving my car) and knew that I am not in control of
my life, that God is. And I really felt safe in knowing that. I just
feel like I let go yesterday. I wish I could have taken a picture, but
then again, I know I will never forget what that looked like and how it
made me feel.
*sigh* I really needed to say all that.
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